Cloudy With A Chance Of Darcy
by DriannaHarper
Summary: Being roomies with Cap was easy. Having his best friend crashing the couch was more difficult. *Prequel to 'Tasers, and Soldiers, and Captains, oh my' (Part 2 of the Couch Series)


The first time it happens, Bucky's glad he was mostly awake anyway. He doesn't want to think about what his reaction to being sat on while he was sleeping would be.

It's four in the morning, and he bunked overnight at Darcy and Steve's apartment. Their couch was the pokiest, saggiest thing imaginable, but the apartment smelled like the dinner the three had eaten, and the throw covering him was made by Darcy's grandmother and might be the softest thing he's ever felt.

He hears some quiet shuffling, and then there's a weight half on his stomach and half on the couch. At his startled 'Oof', it slides entirely onto the couch. He looks up in the shallow light, and sees a bleary eyed Darcy looking at him, confused.

"You're on my couch."

He frowns, eyebrows drawing together. "It's not like it's the first time, sweet heart. I'm here half the time anyway."

"But you're on my couch. I was going to watch bad movies on my couch until I could sleep again."

He reaches up one hand to push some of her hair behind her ear. "Bad dreams?"

Leaning into his hand for a moment, she then pulls away and rubs her eyes with the heels of her hands. Slowly, she nods. "Jane and I? We always see things on TV. The battle in New York, the Helicarriers in DC? We were in the middle of the damned bad Elf thing in London, but that was… something kind of expected with Thor. When it's all of you? We're never close enough. We watch reporters on TV, and we worry, and one day, one of you isn't going to come back."

She's leaking more than a little around the eyes, so he pulls her down to lay with him on the pokey, saggy couch. Tucking the blanket around them, he lets her burrow her face down into his neck.

"You guys… you're my family, you know? I know there's always gonna be a risk when you go out on a mission, but I hate being so far away from you. And one day… one day…"

There's a full body shiver, and he tightens his arm around her. "We're tougher than we look, Darce. And you gotta admit- we look pretty damned tough."

"You do, I get it. I don't like it, but I get it. But I'm so scared that one day, I'm gonna come home, and I'll be short a roommate."

He can't help the cold knot in his chest that forms then. "Steve's always going to make it, honey. He's Captain America, he'll be here long after the rest of us bite it."

A hand slaps down on his chest, and there's a snort from near his collar. "I know that, asshole. Steve's a risk taker, but he's also got some god damned sense. He's not the roommate I'm worried about."

"It's Imogen, isn't it? You're worried that me sleeping on her so often is going to lead to her demise."

There's a startled silence, and Darcy slowly leans up over him. "Did you name my fucking COUCH?"

"You named your taser. Why can't I name the couch? I sleep here, most nights."

Her mouth opens, her brow furrows, and then both smooth out again. She shakes her head, before returning to her space next to him. "You are SO fucking weird, Barnes. I don't know why I let Steve keep pets."

"You like me, admit it. You'd be sad if I wasn't here to crash on your couch."

"I…," she manages, before he feels hot, damp tears soak through his shirt again.

"Shh, baby. Steve and I aren't going any damned where. We'll figure something out. Just… try to sleep. Real sleep, not watching those robots dissing movies until you pass out sleep."

"I'll have you know that MST3K marathoning is a long standing, and honored tradition."

He hates that she falls asleep crying, but at least she sleeps. In the few hours he has before the sun rises, he plans. There is no promise he can make that will make the Avengers safe every time. But he can make sure she's in the know.

Good thing Jarvis is sneaky like a fox.

Steve is up with the sun, and more perky than anyone should be at that hour. He bounds into the room, ready to snark, and then sees Darcy- the trail of dried tears on her face, and the damp patch on Bucky's shirt. He goes from Steve to Cap in record time, and Barnes shakes his head. Steve nods, and quietly makes his way out to run.

Close to an hour later, Darcy starts fidgeting prior to waking up. She fights it, snuggling as far as she can under the blanket and into Bucky, before she sighs, drops her shoulders, and opens her eyes.

"I was a total cliché last night, wasn't I?"

"I don't think I get-"

"I had the 'bad dream, run to a man' thing going on. I'm sorry, dude, you shouldn't have had to deal with that," she states as she sits up and starts to stand. "I've got this, even if it looks like I don't. I can handle it, I dealt with Thor and Jane and WHY are they both addicted to Pop-Tarts? Why, I mean-"

She 'oofs' this time when she's brought back down to 'couch' level. "What the hell, man?"

"You have an appointment with Pepper in two hours. You're going to be the Avengers liaison, with Jarvis and Miss Potts. You're going to know what's going on, at all times."

"I… What?"

"I talked to Jarvis, and Pepper, and Steve. You're better at collating data, and would be an asset. That's Pepper's phrasing, not mine."

"I- I'm not qualified for that. I'm a damned Poli-Sci major, man. I can't-"

"If I could interrupt, Miss Lewis?" a British voice comes out of her speakers.

Darcy sits straight up, and well, she might be sitting on Bucky's stomach, but she's not going to let robo…

"Who the fuck are you, and how'd you get in my house?"

"I am JARVIS, and I am Mister Stark's AI. I am accessible in any and all Stark Tech."

"You're in my fucking StarkPhone?"

"I am, Miss Lewis."

"Then why don't you already have my favorite-"

"Coffee, lunch order, or Korean food. I have all three listed. Which would you prefer?"

"What other preferences do you have loaded?"

"… would you really like me to list them?"

"No, Jay, I wouldn't. I have a few questions I'd like answered in person."

"… that isn't really possible."

"Really? You know my lunch preference, how I take my coffee, and how much I love those assholes you are looking after. What's the real point, here? Why do I have a meeting with Pepper Freaking POTTS in two hours? What did you guys do?"

She starts to stomp away from the couch in her jammies, but Barnes catches her arm and reels her back in.

"Darcy?" he kisses her forehead. "Baby? Take a shower, do your hair up, and crush this. You already have Jarvis on your side, and you can WIN Pepper in an instant. You already handle Tony like you were born to it, shrug off Bruce's moping with an eye roll and offer of tea, and balance the rest of the crazy without pausing. You have this, just go GET it."

At the end of the day, Darcy is the new PA to the Avengers, Pepper Potts is helping her redo her wardrobe, and Tony Stark has updated her gaming system.

She sneaks into Steve's room and sits on the floor inside his 'laughably' big closet. She and Jarvis talk for a long time.

The agreement they come to is that neither will do something foolish, as long as the other keeps as communicable as they can. They both fail at this immediately, and fight over it the first time out.

JARVIS doesn't like her arguing with the Hulk. She doesn't like him fighting with Tony. Since both Hulk and Stark listen to them, they agree to be the better adults. She makes the Hulk petulant. He makes Tony sulk. After the first mission, Darcy declares Jarvis her new BFF. He insists that if ('when,' she snarks) he becomes their robot overlord, she gets to be his right hand bad gal.

Barnes spends more nights on her couch. She spends more nights on it with him.

Bucky Barnes figures out three things in the next year.

1\. Darcy and Jarvis are a scary combination. They could rule the world on their own.

2\. Steve makes the best food when he's being challenged. Tackling him counts.

3\. Darcy's hair is the softest thing he's ever felt. And a pokey couch named Imogen makes it worth it.


End file.
